Amid the Rain
by MoreThanSimplyWords
Summary: "She had a way of splitting him open; pushing him out of his ever-present façade and into heart-breaking confessions."


**A/N: Okay. I survived NaNoWrimo! I should have the next chapter of _Fragments_ up soon. ****In the meantime, here's a little spin on the Truncheon incident.**

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He knows something's wrong the second she pulls away from his kiss.

"I'm sorry." Words of her apparent love for Logan come spilling out of her, striking him hard and making him numb. Somewhere in his mind, the sound of rain pouring outside registers. _It's fitting_, he thinks. _And a little cliché. _Thunder sounds overhead, making him snap back to the present.

She still loves Logan. The numbness wears off, leaving a hollowness inside of him.

"I hate this." His words were brutally raw and honest, but she had no way of knowing that he was only unmasked around her. She had a way of splitting him open; pushing him out of his ever-present façade and into heart-breaking confessions.

"I'm sorry I came here." She says.

"I'm not. It's what it is; you, me. "

He's rewarded with a brief, sad smile, a shadow of the laughing girl he once knew.

"_I'm not."_ His words echo through his mind as he watches her take a step towards the door.

"_I'm not."_ And he wasn't, really. At least he got to see her smile one last time.

"_I'm not."_ He knows he should be sorry - the knot that's growing in his stomach by the second says enough - but he can't help being glad. Glad he got one last moment with her.

"_I'm not."_ The thought that he may never see her again comes into his head, making him sick.

He watches her walk out the door, the taste of her kiss still burning on his lips.

"Rory, stop." But the door's already closed. He starts towards it, hand outstretched for the doorknob. His heart is beating faster and faster, shaking him to the very core. He knows he shouldn't risk this. Knows he's already put his heart on the line too many times. Knows he looks desperate. But he is. And he chases her out into the rain.

She's still walking to her car. He can't think straight. All he knows is that he has to reach her, has to make her stay, before she reaches the door and drives away forever. She turns around as he reaches her and he does the only thing he can think to do. He steps closer and presses his lips to hers.

It's unlike any kiss they've ever shared. It's urgency and tenderness and sorrow and hope all in one. This is his last chance and he wants so desperately to make everything right. He pulls her closer as he feels something warm slip down his cheek, blending in with the frigid raindrops that are soaking him. He tells himself it can't be a tear because he hasn't cried in years and if he ever does again, it's certainly not going to be about a girl. It can't be a tear because tears admit defeat and as long as she's in his arms, he hasn't lost her yet. His eyes are squeezed shut, against reality, against their past, against the fact that she'll be gone as soon as he lets her go. In this instant, she is all he knows.

He can't breathe and he still can't think. All he knows is that he loves her, doesn't want her to go. He needs her. And someway, somehow, he has to convince her that she needs him. He pulls slightly away for just an instant because he doesn't know what he's doing anymore.

"Jess." The words are barely audible above the rain, but he hears the broken voice all the same.

Then it occurs to him that he might just have hurt both of them more. Surely she had been getting on fine with her life, and now here they are, standing by her car in the pouring rain, their hands shaking and their lips just about to touch again. A horrible thought comes into his mind. It's so obvious, he wonders why he missed it before. _He's selfish_. Yes, he might need her. But people change, and she may no longer need him. So even though it nearly kills him, he takes a step back. If he really loves her, he has to let her go. His vision is cloudy and something seems to fall from his eye when he blinks. _Stupid raindrops._

"Jess." Her eyes are wide.

He still can't seem to breathe.

"I'm sorry." He chokes out. And he's sorry for everything. Sorry for pushing her away when they were younger. Sorry for running. Sorry for chasing her out here like this when she has another life that's completely separate from him.

She covers her mouth with trembling hands. For a second, he thinks she's going to run to her car, but she stays still. Waiting. Breathing.

"Do you still love me?"

Of course he does. He's never stopped thinking about her. Never stopped wishing he could take everything wrong he said back. He's never, ever stopped loving her.

He swallows past the dryness in his throat. "Yes." It comes out huskily.

Her eyes, a clearer blue than he's ever seen them, fill up with tears. One chases a path down her face, salt water mixing with the fresh.

And then she's kissing him again. But it only lasts for an instant before she's taken a step away.

"It's just not…" She takes a breath. "It's not the right time."

Not the right time? For what? For them to be together? Isn't five years a long enough wait? The hollowness in his chest is back.

"Maybe, someday..." She says the words so quietly, he's not sure whether she actually spoke them or if he's imagining things.

She glances towards her car. Fumbles for her keys.

He desperately wants to convince her to stay. Instead, he watches her step a few feet away. She doesn't turn her back, but instead holds his gaze.

"I love you." Her voice is soft and nearly imperceptible.

And then she turns, gets in her car, and drives off. He's left standing in the rain, watching her headlights fade into the fog.

"_I'm sorry I came here."_

"_I'm not."_

He numbly makes his way back inside.

"_Maybe, someday..."_

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_A/N: Well. After a very vulnerable Jess and a slightly ambiguous ending: I have a couple ideas for continuing this. I'm not promising anything (and I really, really, should get working on Fragments...), but if you guys have a positive reaction to this; I'll definitely consider turning it in to something more. Thanks for reading!  
_


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